Why Don’t You?

July 17, 2009 at 1:40 am (Random Writings) ()

*Author’s note:  The final original assignment I did for Intro Fiction Writing.  It was an exercise I put on myself to see if I was capable of doing a short story using only dialogue.  I said I succeeeded, as did my teacher.  I brought this up the very next year during my next fiction writiging class, and my professor basically told it my story probably sucked without reading it.  It was going to be a long term with her.

 

Why Don’t You?

 

            “’Just kiss her.’  That’s what you’ve got to keep telling yourself.  ‘Just kiss her.’  I mean, what’s the worse that could happen?”

            “She could freak out and never speak to me again.”

            “True, she could freak out and never speak to you again; that’s pretty bad, but then again she hardly speaks to you now.  All she does is disappoint you over and over again.  Maybe you’ll be graced and she’ll ask to just be friends.  If she does then at least that’d be implying that she’ll treat you better.  I mean, friends would be a far step up from what you are now, which is basically just the guy that exists to remind her that at least someone, someone on Earth, thinks the world of her.”

            “Why can’t I just tell her how I feel?”

            “Why not just tell her that you love her?  Really?  No, if you do, even though you mean it and it’d be a massive risk all in its own, she could easily walk away.  She could say nothing or patronize you by trying to explain your feelings away or simply walk away and then you’re standing there like the sad bastard that you are.  At least if you just grab her and kiss her she can’t escape; she can’t run away.  And even if she doesn’t say anything afterwards and just leaves, you took the risk and you’re a champion.”

            “A champion?”

            “A warrior.  You are a gladiator in the arena of love.  You came, you saw, you conquered.  Perhaps you also screwed up, but you did it with style.  No one can look down upon you for that.  You are a hero to all of us who cry out for action, who fight for love.  All nice guys everywhere who have been trapped where you are will rejoice and you shall add their power to yours.”

            “I haven’t even done it yet.”

            “But you will.  You must.  If you don’t, well then there’s no hope for any of the world.  We are all lost.”

            “You’re all lost if I don’t get rejected?”

            “No, we’re all lost if you don’t even try.  We need a role model.”

            “Who is this ‘we’?”

            “Who is this-who is this ‘we’?  What do you mean ‘who is this ‘we’?’  This ‘we’ is everyone who’s counting on you.”

            “How do they know about me?”

            “They don’t now, but once you go out there and do what you will do, then they’ll sing songs about you for ages to come.”

            “That’s absurd.”

            “Is it now?  Or is it so reasonable that you’re afraid to accept your destiny?  I’m not even sure what you’re more afraid of anymore: rejection from the woman you love, or leading your people into battle.”

            “What people?”

            “You know, the people who are depending on you.”

            “And who are these people?”

            “Me.  If you go out there and you do this, then I have hope for myself.  I’ll be able to see that it can be done and that no matter what happens afterwards, the world will still keep spinning no matter how hard you or I would think otherwise.”

            “Then why don’t you just do it?”

            “Because I am a coward.”

            “You’re a coward?”

            “Yes, I’m a coward.  I don’t believe in myself or anything that I do.  I have to live vicariously through you in order to feel anything.”

            “But I haven’t done anything.”

            “But you will.”

            “No, I won’t.”

            “Then all is lost.”

            “Nothing is lost.  Things will just go back to the way they’ve always been.  I’ll be in the middle ground between ‘friend’ and ‘something more’ and nothing will change.”

            “Is that what you want?”

            “What I want I can’t have.  At least with this I know what to expect.”

            “And that’s better than the possibility of something greater?”

            “Yes.  At least this way I don’t have to deal with the pain.”

            “You’re already dealing with the pain.  You’ve been dealing with the pain for years.  I’m trying to convince you to take yourself off life support.  You have to trust me; something better awaits you in the next life.”

            “The next life?”

            “The life without her.”

            “But…it’s not really a life without her…”

            “Then show her that.  Make her know that she means everything to you, and that without her you’d die.  You’d give up your life for one chance to be with her.”

            “That’s deep.”

            “Yes.”

            “That’s crazy.”

            “Yes.”

            “I’m not doing it.”

            “Then all is lost.”

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