Game Studs: Episode 8

July 17, 2009 at 12:21 am (Game Studs) ()

*Author’s note:  This was the end of Game Studs for the time being.  More recently, we’ve been looking at ways to bring it back, but we just can’t figure it out with time management.  So we ended it in the most drastic way I know how:  Ridiculously.


Game Studs Episode 8

“The Minus World”


Setting:  Fade in from white.  The four are all sitting in the J school lounge, looking confused.


Ben:  (Looks around).  Huh?  The door of light just lead us here?


Alexa:  It sure seems that way.  Oh well, at least we’re not dead.


Topher:  Something’s still not right…


Danny:  (He starts deeply laughing from behind everyone.  They move out of the way for the camera to see Danny laughing.  His voice is now much deeper and more confident).  Hahaha…you are correct.


Alexa:  Danny?


Danny:  In one sense of the word, yes.  I am who you’ve always known as Danny.  (Begins pacing).  However, I am so much more than that.  If only you knew who I am.


Ben:  Then who am you?


Danny:  I am the Game Master!


Topher:  (The three are all stone faced and unimpressed).  What?


Danny:  Yes, I’ve been following you all around these past months, carefully setting things in motion.


Ben:  So it was you who burnt the game store down!


Danny:  Precisely.  It began with the simple hiring of this pawn, and every step of the way I’ve pushed us one step closer to our destiny.


Topher:  That sounds needlessly complicated.


Danny:  Incredibly!  But enough, there are more important things to be dealt with.  There is a great evil in this world.


Topher:  What world?


Danny:  This world!


Topher:  The real world?


Danny:  No, the Minus World!


Topher:  It looks just like the boring version of our world.


Danny:  It’s not!  Shut up!


Alexa:  So can we cut to the important things?  I’ve never been a fan of opening cinematics.


Danny:  Ah, yes, the reason I’ve brought you all here is because it is your destiny to collect 7…items of somewhat importance.


Topher:  Always seven…


Alexa:  What sort of items?


Danny:  Of somewhat importance.


Ben:  Yeah, but what do they look like?


Danny:  They look like something important.  (Pulls out a map).  Here is a map that shows the item’s locations.  You three heroes of destiny must collect them within the time limit or else it’s game over…for some reason!


Ben:  Lame.


Alexa:  Alright, let’s split up and get them.  Come on guys.  (The three walk out of the room).


Time for a montage of the three gathering the items.  First we see Topher grabbing an item from off of a tree.  Then, Alexa picks one up from the center of the EMU amphitheatre.  Then, Ben picks the lock of a car, opens the door, and takes another one.  Then Topher is seen chasing after a squirrel.  Then Alexa randomly finds one in her pocket.  Finally, Ben is seen buying a hot dog.  As he opens the wrapper, he finds another item.  The three meet up again outside the J School.


Topher:  (The three are counting up their totals).  We’re still one short.


Ben:  It’s not on the map anywhere.


Alexa:  Ten to one the map’s the last item.


Topher:  (He and Ben look at each other and then Alexa).  Yeah I’ll take that bet.


Danny:  Aha!  You have found all the items!


Topher:  The map was an item?


Danny:  Yes yes, the map was an item.


Alexa:  You owe me a Coke.


Topher:  Damn.


Ben:  Now what?


Danny:  (Evil laugher).  You fools walked right into my trap.  It was all too easy!


Topher:  (Realizes what’s happened).  Uh…ahhhhh…


Ben:  What?


Topher:  We fell for the most basic cliché in games and collected the items for the villain thinking he was someone else.


Alexa:  Man we’re stupid.


Topher:  Sometimes I hate us.


Danny:  And now, my items please.  (Snaps his fingers.  Freeze on the three holding the items, instantly the items are gone.  Cut to Danny who is now holding all the items).  Hahaha, and now the end has come!  (He hugs the items close, the camera begins to shake like an earthquake.  “Crack!” sound effect goes off, screen starts flashing white.  It fades back in and the items that Danny were holding are gone, although he is dressed in a badass outfit and looks ready to kill).  Prepare for the Eleventh Hour!


Ben:  What’s the Eleventh Hour?


Topher:  The time right before the villain wins where you either have to step up or get killed.


Ben:  Ah.


Alexa:  Well then, let’s step up!  (The three nod and pull weapons out from behind their backs).


Danny:  Hahaha, futile.  (The three rush Danny, with Topher swinging his sword down first.  It stops above Danny’s head via telekinesis.  Danny throws him back.  Alexa runs up next, slashing at Danny with her sword, although Danny dodges easily out of the way, finally pushing her aside via telekinesis again).


Ben:  (Looks down at his sword and then over at Danny.  He just drops his sword).  Nah.


Danny:  (Begins laughing again).  Well then, it looks as if I have won!


Ben:  (The three join up again, with Alexa in between the two guys).  If we have to die, then I get to make out with Alexa.


Topher:  What?!  No way, I call dibs.


Alexa:  (Ear thwips both guys at once).  Excuse me, but I’m taken.


JT:  (Cut to JT randomly sitting at a chair.  He swivels around and nods).  M’why yes indeed!


Danny:  And now the end comes!  (He hold his hands above his head, charging an energy ball of some sort).


Topher:  Well we’re certainly screwed.


Danny:  Hahaha, let’s see you catch this one!  (Shotgun sound effect is heard.  Danny instantly stops laughing, his ball disappears, and he falls over.  Frank is behind him holding a shotgun).


Frank:  Yippie ka-yai motha fucka.


Topher:  Who the hell are you?


Frank:  (Sets down his shotgun and picks up his guitar).  Me?  I’m just a humble ol’ camera man.  (Begins playing the same song from the end of Channel 70 and walks away).


Topher:  Meh, works for me.


Alexa:  Well now what?


Topher:  I don’t know.  The end credits should roll and then maybe some bonus features are unlocked.


Ben:  Well yeah but can’t we go home?


Topher:  I don’t really know…  (Scene starts to fade out, instantly the screen goes all fuzzy ala NES games).


JT:  (Pull back and we see JT at a TV holding an NES cartridge).  This game sucks.  Where’d I put Sponge Bob?  (Game Studs logo flashes on the screen).




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