Game Studs: Episode 5

July 17, 2009 at 12:00 am (Game Studs) ()

*Author’s note:  This episode never got aired, sadly.  To begin, the character named Visenberg is actually Jason Visenberg, an uo and coming stand-up comedian we went to college with.  I had agreed to write in a cameo for him, but it didn’t go through as we’d hoped.  JT’s character was also somewhat of a cameo, taking place from Episode 2 where he’s set up as a customer who always fawns over a Sponge Bob game.  In terms of the store, scheduling conflicts became a problem and we were forced to put this episode off for a while, eventually having to shelf it completely, for reasons I’ll explain a bit later.


Game Studs: Episode 5

“If It Ain’t Broke…”


Setting:  Seriously, do I even need to remind everyone where we’re at?  Big City Gamin’ as usual, main counter.  Ben is standing unusually quiet and emotionally saddened as Danny goes about working once more.


Danny:  (Looks around as he’s working and finally worriedly walks up to Ben).  Hey there buddy…  How’re you doing?


Ben:  (Slowly turning to look at Danny).  Huh?  Oh, hi Ny, I’m doing fine.


Danny:  (Smiling and slightly happy again).  Well that’s good and-  (Stops and becomes worried again).  Wait a minute…you never call me Ny.  (Turns from Ben and begins walking towards the door, thinking to himself).  Something is definitely wrong…


Alexa:  (Walks in and sees Danny).  Hey Danny, how’s the place doing today?


Danny:  Something is odd with Ben.


Alexa:  Really?  (Looks over Danny’s shoulder and sees Ben cradling a teddy bear and rocking back and forth in place).  Yeah, I see what you mean.


Danny:  I think Topher broke him.


Alexa:  No way, Ben’ll snap outta it fast enough.  Watch this.  (Looks over Danny’s shoulder towards Ben and tries to seduce him).  Hey Ben, I’m moving this weekend and I need a big strong man to help me with my bed.  Oh where oh where could I find one…?


Ben:  (Sadly responds, totally broken).  I’ll tell Topher when he gets in that you were looking for him then…


Alexa:  He…he didn’t fawn all over me?  What’s going on?  (Turns back to Danny).  Okay, you’ve got to fix this.


Danny:  Me?  Why me?


Alexa:  (Starting to fake cry a bit).  Because I’m just a little emotional, that’s all.  I mean, if I don’t have control over Ben, then maybe I’m losing my touch, and I just don’t know what to do with myself!  (Grabs Danny and shakes him).  You don’t know what it’s like!  (Runs off whimpering).


Visenberg:  (Visenberg walks up to the counter to talk to Ben).  Yo, you’re lookin’ down.  How can that be?


Ben:  The mighty hath fallen…that is all.


Visenberg:  You know what you could use more in your life?


Ben:  Meaning?


Visenberg:  No, Madden.


Danny:  (Walking over).  Wait just a minute now.  How is Madden going to do anyone any good?


Visenberg:  Madden is the greatest video game franchise ever formed.


Danny:  Hah!  Football games are amateur and dull, and the Madden series is at the core of the problem.


Visenberg:  What?!  No way man, Madden is LIFE!  (Turns to Ben).  Right man?


Ben:  Huh?  Yeah.


Danny:  No Ben no!  What has happened to you?!  (Weeps and runs towards the door).


Topher:  (Walks in and runs into Danny).  Hey, what’s up?


Danny:  You did this to Ben!  You fix him!


Visenberg:  Fix him?  He seems fine.  (Turns back to Ben).  Yo man, I’ll be needin’ some of the new Madden games then.  I’m talkin’ Madden o-10.


Topher:  What?


Visenberg:  That’s right, they’re skipping the next few years and getting ahead in the seasons.  (Turns to Ben).  I’ll take a copy for the Playstation, maybe one for the Wii, a few for the 360, and any that you can find for the Atari 2600.


Topher:  They don’t make Atari 2600 games anymore.


Ben:  (Pulls an Atari cartridge out from under the counter and looks at it confusedly).  Huh.  Apparently they still do.


Topher:  Ben, I’m sorry for breaking you, but we need you to be a dick to everyone again.  Please?


Ben:  No, I have no power.  Nothing matters anymore.  I’ll never smile again.


Topher:  Oh come on.  You sound like you’re a band member of My Chemical Romance now.


Ben:  (Sadly turns to Topher).  Their music speaks to me.


Topher:  (Now also very worried).  No…it’s worse than I thought.


Steve:  (Walks in).  Bling-blang-bloom, y’all makin’ some shiggidy-sales in my fibbidy-flobbidy-floo?


Ben:  Yes sir.  (Bagging Visenberg’s games).


Visenberg:  Yeah man, I’ve got Madden on lockdown.


Topher:  (Looking around for a solution).  Um…um…(Sees JT looking over his game again).  Bingo!  (Turns to Visenberg).  Hey Madden boy!  That guy’s got the last copy of Madden o-Infinity!


Visenberg:  What?!  It’s out already?!  I must have it!  (Runs over to JT, who’s massaging his usual Sponge Bob game).  Gimmie that!


JT:  (Stunned and heartbroken).  What…?  (Looks around his empty hands).  But…but…  (Flips out).  NOOOOOOOO~!


Visenberg:  Huh?  (JT rushes him and picks him up, screaming and shaking him about).


Ben:  (A slight grin comes across his face).  Ehee…heehee…MWAHAHAHAHA!  (Points and laughs at the scene unfolding.  He begins dancing about and pointing).  Take that Madden boy!


Steve:  (Also panicking).  AHARG!  My sales!  Stop it!  Stop it right now!


Ben:  (Back to his old self).  Hah, you can do it yourself boss man.  (Walks out from behind the counter).  Now if you’ll excuse me I’m taking a six-hour lunch break.


Steve:  But you can’t-


Ben:  Ta ta.  (Walks out, whipping Danny’s ear on the way by).


Steve:  (Flabbergasted.  Turns to Topher).  What did you do?


Topher:  I had to balance the world.  It was necessary or else the universe would have imploded.


Steve:  What?


Topher:  Sad Ben bad for business.


Steve:  Oh, I get ya brosive.


JT:  (Walks by holding his game again, snuggling it).  Teehee, Sponge Bob, don’t ever leave me again.


Visenberg:  (Gets up wobbling).  Madden…bring me life…  (Falls over again).


Steve:  (Steve bends down, takes the wallet from Visenberg’s pocket, takes all the money in it, then puts the Atari 2600 cartridge back in Visneberg’s pocket).  Okay, no harm no foul.  Jerry Maguire, do something with…this.  (Points at Visenberg).


Topher:  But it’s my day off.


Steve:  Your point?


Topher:  (Sigh).  Alright.  (Starts dragging Visenberg off).


End of Episode


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