Channel 70 News: Episode 2

June 13, 2009 at 10:59 pm (Channel 70 news) (, )

*Author’s note:  For our second episode, we ran into yet another problem that needed a PSA.  Jason Tomlinson, the actor playing Johnny Jenson, was also the actual sports anchor for the Sports segment of Duck U.  Rebecca Force, or advisor, complained that it was a poor choice to have JT play a character to different from something favorable, requesting that he be removed from teh show.  As a producer, I knew that JT was the central humor of the show, so my solution was yet another PSA, as seen in the Youtube posting.

In addition to this, I felt that I’d probably need to have an alternate portion written for Sam’s character since I wasn’t sure if we could pull off greenscreen for the fire effect.  In the end, we could not, but the final product turned out just fine regardless.


Channel 70 News Episode 2


Voice Over:  And now, it’s time for the Northwest’s okayest news team, Channel 70 News.  With Diana Miranda, (Campy footage of Diana turning to the camera), and Dave Trenton, (Same thing, but with Dave).


Diana:  Good evening everyone.  I’m Diana Miranda.


Dave:  And thank God I’m not.  (Diana laughs fakely).  And this is tonight’s “top” news stories.  (Looks over his papers, then throws them).  To save some time, I’m just gonna wing it for you all.  (Closes his eyes and puts his finger to his head).  Using my powers of deduction…Hummmmm…there were three homicides, two accounts of drunken driving, nineteen bomb threats, six convenience store robberies, a serial killer on the loose, and Bush’s approval rating dropped another few points.  (Opens his eyes).  How’d I do Diana?


Diana:  (Looking over her script in amazement).  Actually…pretty darn close.  (Ultra cheesy).  Except you forgot the story about the skateboarding kitten.   (Smiles and laughs).


Dave:  Just because you said that, I’m hoping that story crosses over with the drunk driving story.


Diana:  (Worriedly laughs).  Ha…ha?  (Looks over her script again).  Oh!  Tonight marks the children’s hospital’s annual fundraiser in downtown’s Jefferson Square.  If you’d like to support the needy children, come on down and show your support.  I know I’ll certainly be there.  (Smiles again).  Do you want to be my date Dave?  (Turns to him).


Dave:  (Closes his eyes and puts his finger to his forehead again).  I’m gonna use my powers of deduction once more.  Diana, can you guess what I’m gonna say?


Diana:  (Sadly hopeful).  Maybe?


Dave:  Johnny, while I break it to this poor woman in a not-so-gentle way, why don’t you tell us what tomorrow’s weather’s gonna look like?


Johnny:  Certainly Dave.  (Points to his drawings again).  Dave, we’re all familiar with “el Niño”, correct?  Well, I’m predicting that we’re about to experience a new type of storm, that I’ve taken the liberty of naming “el Diablo.”  (His sketch is of a very crudely-drawn Satan riding a storm cloud).  As you can see, this storm will most likely kill off the population of the Southern Hemisphere, and maybe a good portion of the Northern Hemisphere as well.  As we all begin to seek shelter near the glaciers in the North Pole, the planet will likely be torn in twain, with the oceans being replaced by lava.  Partly cloudy.


Dave:  Fantastic.


Diana:  (Getting handed a piece of paper).  Oh, oh!  Dave, we’ve got breaking news coverage to report on.


Dave:  I can hardly contain myself.


Diana:  The old Spanish mission has erupted in flames and our very own Sam the Go-To guy is on the scene.  Sam, can you hear us?


Sam:  (Standing inside a burning building).  Diana, I can hardly hear anything over the roaring fire no more than three feet away from…my feet.


Diana:  Sam, can you tell us what happened?


Sam:  Well, as far as I can deduce, someone set the Old Spanish Mission on fire, probably with some matches.


Diana:  Wonderful Sam.  Can you tell us anything more about this fire?


Sam:  Well, the fire began at the base of the building and then made its way up to the roof, where at that point the roof began caving in.  From there, it spread to nearby buildings and soon after, slowly up the back of my shirt and pants.  (Coughs).  It’s becoming increasingly difficult to breathe, so I’ll keep you guys posted if there are any new developments.  Until then, back to you in the studio!  (Flames engulf Sam).


Diana:  Thank you Sam.  (We can hear Sam scream from of camera).  And now it’s time for sports.  Johnny, what’s happening in the world of sports?


Johnny:  Diana, the world of sports is a bit surprised today, seeing as how the unthinkable has happened.  Michael Jordan has once more come out of retirement.  However, this re-entrance to the great sport of basketball was not to play but rather to eat the souls of rookie players in order to increase his lifespan and live forever.  I’d like to remind everyone that I predicted this three months ago, as you can see from this sketch I drew back then.  (Holds up a horrific picture of Michael Jordan as a monster, eating small basketball players).


Diana:  (Unsure how to react).  Ah…isn’t that…cute?


Dave:  In some way, yes, yes it is.  (Looks at his watch).  And thankfully we’re out of time.  (Smiles).  So I guess that’s everything you need to know.


Diana:  Actually, we have an important story about flesh-eating bacteria.


Dave:  Nope, we’ll save it for next time.  I’m Dave Trenton.


Diana:  But, uh…


Dave:  And you might want to stay away from dairy for a while.  Have a good night.


End of Episode


Alternate Sam Segment:


Diana:  (Is handed a piece of paper).  Oh, oh!  Dave, we’ve got breaking news coverage to report on.


Dave:  I can hardly contain myself.


Diana:  In a strange twist of events, our very own Sam the Go-To Guy has stumbled upon the whereabouts of the unknown serial killer.  We go live to Sam.  Sam, can you tell us where you are?


Sam:  (Tired to a chair and talking in a hushed tone).  Diana…help meeeee…


Dave:  Sam, how did you get in there?


Sam:  Well, as far as I can remember, I was talking to a nice man down at the Gap, and then he offered me a drink and I took it and now…eeeeeeeeeee…And my camera man isn’t helping me!  Frank help me!  (The camera shakes “no” in response.  We can hear a door slam and then footsteps).  Eep!  He’s back!  I may never see my wife again!  (Begins crying).


Dave:  (Doesn’t care).  What a shame.


Sam:  Eeeeeeeeee, back to you in the studio!


Diana:  Thank you Sam.


Sam:  (We hear this from off screen).  Hey, what’re you gonna do with that sprinkler head?


Diana:  And now it’s time for sports.


Sam:  (Still off camera).  Ah, my torso!  Why the torso?!


Diana:  Johnny, what’s happening in the world of sports?


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