The Adventures of Uberman: Prologue

May 7, 2009 at 3:56 am (Uberman) ()

The Adventures of Uberman



A title slide flashes across the screen for a special news presentation from TCN, Triumph Communications Network.  The titles reads, “A Hero’s Trial.”


Journalist:  (The camera fades in on a middle-aged woman with a hands-free microphone pinned to her collar.  She looks flustered and extremely excited.  Her dark hazel eyes are lit up with the information she’s about to recite.  Despite her years of journalistic experience, she’s fidgeting with her heavily sprayed golden hair).  Good evening America, I’m Debra Trenton.  Tonight, I have the very special honor of introducing a most remarkable man to you all.  In my years as a journalist, no story has come along that has been elevated to the magnitude of the story I’m about to present to you.  For the past 70 years, this man has been a part of your lives, more recognizable than any historical figure, living or dead.  He has been as much a part of your lives as breathing, and now he is here tonight to tell his tale, from his perspective.  I present to you, Uberman.


Uberman:  (Camera zooms out and pans over to Debra’s left, revealing a suited hero sitting in a large green armchair.  His hair, a natural brown, almost chocolate colored, has a very definitive bounce to it that is achieved without the use of any amount of sprays or gels.  His eyes are covered by a black mask, although you can see they are a deep, deep shade of green.  The suit that he is wearing is partly blue and partly white, with flashes of red here and there.  A huge U is emblazoned upon his ripped chest in sparkling white, outlined with black.  Surprisingly he is very soft spoken).  Please, I don’t…I really don’t deserve that much praise.  But thank you.


Debra:  (She’s blushing like a little school girl).  Oh, you’re so modest.


Uberman:  I’ve never been good with receiving compliments.


Debra:  Please, can you tell us why you’re here today?


Uberman:  Um, am I talking to you or to the camera?


Debra:  Please, whichever you feel comfortable talking to.


Uberman:  That doesn’t, um…(Clears his throat).  I’m not used to being on camera much.


Debra:  Then please, talk to me.


Uberman:  Okay.  Hm, well, I’m here tonight to tell my story…as you’ve already pointed out…from my point of view.


Debra:  What has prompted you to come forth so unexpectedly?  Why now?


Uberman:  I’ve been a super hero for over 70 years now, fighting crime, saving the world, leaving behind a personal life, all for the good of mankind.


Debra:  Humankind.


Uberman:  (Blankly stares at her).  Right, right, the human race in general, and some of our friendlier neighbors.  But as my life goes on, after countless attempts from villains to end my life, I’ve been given some unusual news.


Debra:  And what is that?


Uberman:  My doctor has diagnosed me with a terminal type of cancer.  I have a very short amount of time left.


Debra:  (Gasps).  Is there nothing you can do?  No treatments that you could have?


Uberman:  Nope.  No known medication is currently on the market for what I have.


Debra:  Have you considered chemotherapy?


Uberman:  (Chuckles).  Blasting me with radiation isn’t really going to do much.


Debra:  (Awkwardly smiles).  No, I suppose not.  Exactly what form of cancer do you have?


Uberman:  A form of heart cancer.  I choose not remember the name; it’s not something I prefer to keep on my mind much.


Debra:  I’m so sorry.


Uberman:  Please, don’t be.  I’ve lead a pretty long life.  I know I don’t look it, but I’m well into my eighties.


Debra:  And how do you keep yourself looking so young?


Uberman:  Couldn’t say.  And honestly, I don’t think I came here to give tips on how to live a younger life other than just rolling what with it gives you.


Debra:  Right, my apologies.


Uberman:  It’s okay.


Debra:  (Turns around to the camera).  Tonight, we’ll hear firsthand accounts from the man who lived them.  We are given the chance to hear about his origins, his trials, his victories and his defeats, as well as some about other well-known heroes and villains.  We’ll have much more to talk about when we return from the break as we delve deeper into just what makes this man do the things he does.  Stick around, this is the only chance you’ll have for such an interview, and it’s only right here on the nation’s number one network, TCN.


We’ll be back after these messages…


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