Grandpa Jerry and King Arthur’s Quest

December 17, 2008 at 2:41 am (Random Writings) ()

-Grandpa Jerry was a character I created based off my late grandfather of the same name.  A few years ago, I had discussed doing a children’s book with a girl I was interested in with the agreement that I’d write it and she’s draw it.  With this agreement came me upholding my half of the bargin, mostly hoping to impress her.  Though the story was well received, nothing more came out of either the book or the connection, (which is how life goes sometimes).


Regardless of intent, a story had been written in a style I was completely foreign to and it held up rather well.  So much so that my fiance` would tell me on mutliple ocassions that she absolutely loved it.  So here for all of you is the first of what may be many adventures of Grandpa Jerry.  As with everything, enjoy!

Grandpa Jerry and King Arthur’s Quest

Written by Christopher Pranger


Page 1:

            Well my grandchildren, it is night once again and rest is assured.  Your bedtime is upon us and as your grandfather I shall grant you one last request before sleep overtakes you.

            Grandpa Jerry, would you please tell us a bedtime story?!

Page 2:

            A story you say?  That seems to be your request every night.  And since tonight is no different, I shall accept this small request.  Did I ever tell you kids about the time I was a knight of the round table?

            Grandfather, that is utterly impossible.  For such a thing to be true, you would have to be 800 years of age, at least.

Page 3:

            I am telling no lies!  I was there with King Arthur, the mightiest of kings!  You must trust me in this, for this story is grand and complicated and will require you to listen closely.

            But it cannot be true.  King Arthur wasn’t even real.

            Wasn’t real?!  Boy, you are getting your first warning here!  For this king was more real than the glasses on the end of my nose and the passion in my heart!  And I will tell you all about the great things that I saw while I was his loyal servant.

Page 4:

*Ahem*  It was a long time ago,

as I’m sure you must know,

where the kingdom of lore

stood near the north shore

where the birds they did soar

and the dragons did roar

and every knight worth his hat

made sure he was at.

Page 5:

            Grandfather, why are you speaking in rhymes?

            Because my dear boy, it’s a sign of the times.

For you see way back then, they had no TV,

no video games and no Godfather part 3,

so they had to acquire an alternative way,

to pass the time by and go on with their day,

and they did this by singing and making up rhymes,

because my dear boy no sane person liked mimes.

            I like mimes grandpa!

            Yes, but you may be the only one.

Page 6:

*Ahem* And it so happens that one fine warm day,

I wound myself face to face with a king that would say,

“Kind knight I must test to see if you’re great,

if you pass this one challenge it may just be fate,

for every knight that I own has gone up and failed,

in retrieving one idea, which is known as the grail.”

Well when Arthur asks something this important of you,

it is not quite polite to turn around and just go,

so I said to him there, right there and then,

that I’d find this treasure, it was a matter of when.

And he said “Right away, there is no time to waste.

I don’t really need it, but I want it post-haste.”

Page 6:

            So that was that, and I grabbed up my helm,

and I put on my armor and I bowed to the realm,

and I proclaimed to the court that I would succeed,

but unfortunately for me I was without steed.

            What’s a steed grandpa?

            A horse my dear.  A noble horse.

*Ahem*  Without a strong horse it would become very hard

to travel about as a spoony young bard.

            What’s a bard grandpa?

            A traveling songwriter.

Page 7:

*Ahem*. So I asked the crowd if they had a fine horse

and they said to me that they didn’t of course.

So my journey it seemed would be tougher than planned,

this quest that would take me all over the land.

But I wouldn’t let such a small thing like this,

stop me from showing my true awesomeness.

For as you two have probably guessed,

your grandfather is great, any one can attest.

Especially these knights from the land Camelot,

because I would wow them with my feats quite a lot.

Page 8:

            Grandfather, I must say, that rhyme was all flimsy.

            Would you like to try to speak with such whimsy?

It is rather hard and only the best,

can even come close to matching the rest,

of the traveling minstrels that sing many a song,

from sun up and sun down and eight times as long.

So before you judge the story at hand,

you give it a try, it’s like running in sand.

Because sand is so deep, and crumbles away,

that running a mile could take you all day.

Which is what I ended up having to do,

in search of the grail and a dragon or two.

Page 9:

            But grandfather, dragons, they just are not real.  You can’t scientifically prove it.

            Boy, just what is your deal?

I tell you this tale, that I did not embellish,

of a story so grand that I hardly could relish,

the thought that telling it to my very grandchild,

would result in assumptions of me being wild,

and making up one rather fabulous fib,

but I promise, dragons existed, I’m quite sure that they did.

            They did not.

            Yes they did.

Page 10:

*Ahem*  And it so happens that upon this here quest,

a dragon appeared and clawed at my chest,

and demanded I give up or else I’d be eaten,

but I refused to give up and wouldn’t be beaten,

and asked him why he was frightfully mad,

and he said he’d been hurt by many a lad,

that just wanted his treasure, some rusty old cup,

that he didn’t even want and had long given up,

to a man that stood nearly forty feet high

and constantly bumped his head on the sky.

Page 11:

            “Well”, I said to this dragon that I had just met,

“I don’t want to attack you but rather would bet,

I could beat you in checkers, (which had not yet been created),

and am sure that you’d lose ‘cause your ego’s inflated,

and mine is just fine and is not all that big,

but you my kind dragon, have a brain like a twig.”

            You said this grandpa?!

            Well…maybe not that exactly.

Page 12:

*Ahem*  The dragon accepted my challenge of fate,

but I could not play long or I would be late,

to meet with the man who was taller than tall,

though I did not know where to find him at all.

So I asked the dragon after many a round,

“Where my kind dragon can this giant be found?”

And he said unto me, in his dragon-like way,

“Why should I care?  Shimmy shim-sham shoo shway.”

            “Shimmy shim-sham shoo shway?”

            That’s dragon talk for “You should be on your way.”

Page 13:

*Ahem*  So I walked and I walked and I almost gave up,

but I could not do that because I needed this cup,

for reasons that Arthur never cared to explain,

but I’m sure that he needed it bad just the same.

I walked up a hill and down a large valley,

I swam up a long river and never did dally,

because I was sure that this giant was near,

and surely enough I did finally hear,

a voice so darn loud that it could only be owned

by a man so darn fat, (but would claim is big-boned).

Page 14:

And upon finding this man I asked for his grail

but did not expect that he’d appear so dang pale.

I soon had discovered that he did not yell,

but was crying enough that he’d formed a small well,

and I asked him quite frankly, “Giant, why do you so cry?”

And he said to me this, (and I swear I don’t lie),

“My name is a word that we giants all have,

for describing a person who’s appearance is bad,

but I don’t think I’m ugly and I hate my name,

and because of it everyone has given me shame!

And I don’t want to live with a name such as this,

who could ever love a man named something silly like Chris?!”

            But grandpa, I like that name!

            It’s okay I guess…

Page 15:

            Perhaps I was not a fan of his name,

but I was not about to let him take all the blame,

since no one deserves to feel all that sad,

about a name that was given by some thoughtless dad.

And I said to the giant, “Don’t feel bad anymore,

because I’ll be your friend, and it’s what’s at your core,

not the name that you’re given, not the way you appear,

but the way that you act towards the ones you hold dear.”

Page 16:

            And he yelped with new tears, but not tears caused by grief,

but rather a long-coming much-needed relief.

And he grabbed me so tightly in his two beastly hands,

that I was about to submit to his every demands,

but he had just wanted to show his affection

by establishing right there a friendly connection.

And when a giant hugs you so very darn deep,

you won’t want to reject him or else you will sleep

for a very long time, by which I mean you’ll be dead,

‘cause he’d crush your whole body into a tasty cheese spread.

Page 17:

            Once the giant had finished administering his hug,

he pulled out from his pocket a bright golden mug.

It shone oh so bright, this gleaming goblet,

a wonderfully crafted piece of a set,

that I soon would discover 13 were in all,

and I’d gotten just one, but that was enough to recall,

and I knew it at once that this was the thing

that King Arthur had politely asked me to bring

back to his castle where everyone waited,

all curious to see if I’d make good on what’s stated.

Page 18:

            But grandpa, were there really 13 in the set?

            Yes, my friend told me it was to keep others from getting upset.

If one of them was finally found,

there were still 12 more hidden cups to hopefully go ‘round,

because an adventure is worth more than a single reward,

and the friends that you make should all be adored,

because it’s expected on any one given story,

you’re bound to meet someone worth sharing your glory.

Page 19:

            And we hugged just once more and we said our goodbyes,

and I marched my way back because time really flies.

Back over the land and up the long river,

I had completed my task and had hoped to deliver

the grail to King Arthur that I promised I would,

because if you say you’ll do something you probably should.

Page 20:

            And Arthur greeted me with a welcoming smile

even though I had been gone only a while,

and he was more than happy to see me succeed,

and was so touched by my lack of self greed,

that he said to me softly, and only to me,

“You keep the goblet, I hope you agree.

I don’t really need it, I just felt like asking,

I didn’t know you’d really obey such random tasking.”

Page 21:

            But I kept the grail and even to now,

I still have it somewhere but don’t ask me how,

for I just told you the tale and I won’t tell it again,

two stories in one night would be far too much strain.

            That’s absurd grandfather.  Your entire story is ridiculous and can’t possibly be true.  Dragons and giants?  Nope, you were just spinning fantasies to entertain us before bed.

Page 22:

            I liked it!

            Well I’m glad you did.  But I’m off to bed, and that means the same for you two.  Goodnight my sweet grandchildren, sleep well.

            Goodnight grandpa!


Page 23:

            Kids today don’t use their imagination,

nothing can create such a fantastic sensation,

but maybe it’s true and I’m just spinning lies,

but I’ve been around and I’ve gotten quite wise.

Nothing is wrong anymore with a small faithful leap,

but that’s enough for now because it’s time for some sleep. 

*Note, on grandpa’s nightstand is the holy grail as he sleeps.


1 Comment

  1. Sharayah said,

    I still love it. 🙂

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