Eclipse Star: Genesis Chapter One

September 14, 2008 at 10:59 am (Eclipse Star: Genesis) (, , , , , , , )

Eclipse Star: Genesis

Chapter 1:  “Let it Begin”


TV Announcer:  “…Regarding the increase of terrorist attacks in and around Trillium City, the President of Zanretha had this to say:”


President:  “I assure every citizen of the nation of Zanretha, these attacks are all isolated incidents that have no connection whatsoever to the war abroad.  Any discussion of the war coming so close to home is mere political rhetoric and should be considered nothing more than attention grabbing by opposing political parties.”


TV Announcer:  “Despite the president’s subdued nature, many citizens are not convinced that they are, in fact, safe.”


Citizen:  “How can we be expected to go about our daily lives when at any minute a group of thugs could come out of the shadows and slit our throats and leave us for dead?  Answer me this.”


TV Announcer:  “Even though many people are growing fearful, the commander of Zanretha’s Special Task Force, the Legion, had this to say:”


Legion Commander:  “There is absolutely nothing to worry about.  Anyone who believes that the Legion can’t protect the city is just unpatriotic and adding to the problem.  These random outbreaks of violence are quickly silenced and order is upheld.  We’re doing our jobs.  Have some faith.”


TV Announcer:  “Even though the commander of the Legion promotes a vision of peace, it is a startling coincidence that the number of Legion members has dropped substantially, forcing them to grow more desperate for replacements, even looking to local teens as possible recruits.  (Shuffles papers).  In other news, a rare gem excavated last week from an undisclosed location has been placed on display for viewing by the general public.  Visitors to the historic Trillium Museum of Art and Science will be granted a chance to observe this mysterious relic for the first time starting today.  Top experts remain uncertain of its exact origin, but refer to it as The Eclipse Star…”


Barbara:  (Sitting in the kitchen of a small apartment with her grandson.  Barbara is hunched over a counter).  Great, that’s just how I want to start my day; with a helping of bad news and “top experts” who won’t come out and admit they’re idiots who get paid to lie.


Chris:  (A dark-haired teenager with light-brown eyes is eating breakfast).  No you’re thinking of spin-doctors.


Barbara:  Just about everyone in a suit’s designed to lie at some point.  Promise me you’ll never own a suit.


Chris:  Grandma, I’m only watching this because there’ never anything on in the mornings.  It’s the best drama during the time slot.


Barbara:  That’s beside the point.

Chris: And don’t worry. The only time I’d ever wear a suit is when I’m dead.

Barbara: Good. Now are you even ready for school?


Chris:  Considering it’s school we’re discussing, yeah, I’m as ready as can be.


Barbara:  Do you have your books packed and your lunch for the fieldtrip?


Chris:  I leave my books in my locker and I never eat lunch anyways, but yes, I’m packed and ready to go look at this “mysterious rock” for three hours.


Barbara:  That’s right, I keep forgetting that your school is taking you to the museum today instead of actually teaching you something worth your time, (gives him a look), like good eating habits.


Chris:  (Dry).  Ha ha, I get enough of that from health class thank you.


Barbara:  Really?  I would never have guessed.  (Sigh).  Just try not to let school get you down so much.  It could be a lot worse.


Chris:  Sure sure, I’ve heard it all before.  (Grabs backpack).  We’ll talk more when I get home.  Why don’t you bake some cookies or something?


Barbara:  You keep up an attitude like that and I’ll be the one making your life miserable, not school.


Chris:  (Rushing out the door).  I’ll keep that in mind!  (Starts walking to the bus stop).


(As Chris slowly takes his time getting to the bus stop in Brooksboro, a small suburb west of the city, certain events are unfolding elsewhere on the east side of town in the embassy for the nation of Balobyn).


Grunt:  Sir, the group you requested for is ready to depart.  (Salutes).


Syrus:  (A tall man with dark-toned skin, black hair pulled back in a pony tail and a black beard that’s kept well kempt wears a dark black uniform with armor fixed to the shoulders, elbows, and knees as well as a chest plate).  Don’t salute to me like that; I’m no more important than you in this mission, just better trained.  Now go tell the others to meet me in the docking bay.


Grunt:  Yes sir! (Salutes and runs to his task).


Syrus:  (Sigh).  I don’t know why I even put up with idiots like these anymore.


Octavious:  (Much older than Syrus, he has white hair that comes down to his shoulders and a beard slightly more trimmed than Syrus’.  He wears an elaborate dark blue suit of armor that’d look more at home on a Roman emperor.  Octavious walks into the room behind Syrus). Commander Syrus, are you ready to carry out today’s mission?


Syrus:  (Speaking through a sneer).  Ah, Octavious, so glad that you could see us off.  (In a very serious tone).  I must make one last plea; these men are not near ready for a task as important as this.  Give me access to your top guards and I can make sure nothing goes wrong.


Octavious:  (Hardly listening). Nonsense, this task is no harder than a common smash-and-grab job like what you’d see at a supermarket.  Honestly, do you really fear Zanretha’s personal army?  Do you think that the Legion of all things can pose any sort of a threat?  (Laughs to himself).


Syrus:  I’m not afraid of the firepower, I’m afraid of the devastation that could occur if our men fail.  They have no idea how to cover their tracks or how to avoid an act of war.  They’re reckless and I have no wish to be a babysitter.


Octavious:  You were assigned to this mission so that you could prevent failure.  As much as I hate hearing and saying it, you’re the next best thing to me going in person.  It’s just no way for a diplomat such as myself to act, and thus you are to do as I say and babysit who I tell you.


Syrus:  (Bows angrily).  As you wish(Walks away).


Octavious:  (Villainous smile).  Good boy.  Now go fetch.


-Syrus stops briefly but moves on despite his extreme anger.


Grunt:  Sir, the men have all gathered in the docking bay as you’ve instructed.


Syrus:  Good, and don’t refer to me as sir again or I’ll probably end up killing you.


Grunt:  (Smiles).  Hah, good one sir.


Syrus:  (Looks disdainfully at the soldier but allows him to proceed to the docking bay).  I can’t be expected to perform miracles with morons like these. Let’s just hope the Legion doesn’t actually interfere… (Walks on to the docking bay).


(We flash back to Chris, now riding the bus and staring blankly out the window in what could be considered deep thought).


Chris:  Hmm…clouds again…probably rain before noon…


(The bus stops and a few more passengers get on, one of which is Austin, Chris’ closest friend.  He is very tall, has short red hair and a long face).


Austin:  (Sits down next to Chris).  Morning Chrissy!


Chris:  Morning Austin.


Austin:  You look tired.  What’ve you been thinking about?


Chris:  How do the two relate to each other?


Austin:  Man, you can only get a good night’s rest if you’ve got a good calm feeling going and if I know you, you’ve been thinking about something or other that kept you up for hours.


Chris:  Then i suppose you just know me too well.


Austin:  Heck yeah I do, and if I know you then I also know that you’re still dwelling on her.


Chris:  Her?


Austin:  Yes her.


Chris:  Her who?


Austin:  What?


Chris:  Well there are so many hers; which one do I to choose from?


Austin:  That’s bullshit, you only think about one her. Long blonde hair, smiles on for days. Sound familiar?


Chris:  Oh that her.  I know that her.  (Looks back out the window in thought).  Better than she knows herself…


Austin:  Hah, oh god!  You take yourself way too seriously; you gotta loosen up.  (Forcefully grabs Chris and shakes him).  Loosen!


Chris:  (Smiles).  All right, all right, I’ll stop dwelling for the time being, but I can’t promise that I won’t make up for time not dwelt at a later date.


Austin:  We’ve got a good day ahead of us Chris, lots to see on the fieldtrip, lots of people to mingle with at school.  You just gotta stay positive.  You’re not even listening to me, are you?


Chris:  (Staring out the window again).  Do you think she’s dwelling about me, too…?


(Back at the Balobynian embassy, Syrus is standing before his squad of ten rifle-toting soldiers.  Each is laughing and hardly paying attention to the severity of Syrus’ tone.  He keeps referring back to a large chalkboard with blueprints of a building hanging from it).


Syrus:  …So, do we all understand the plan?  (A few muffled conversations can be heard).  God… (Punches a hole through the chalkboard).  Now let me make this clear: whoever doesn’t understand the plan after this last explanation will suffer the same fate as Mr. Chalkboard.  (Absolute silence).  Good.  Now, we enter the museum here making sure to shut off all security systems.  That will be my job.  After I disrupt it, we have only 3 and a half minutes before it re-establishes itself and the Legion arrives to stop us.  If they find you, do not be taken prisoner.  If you are captured, don’t expect us to rescue you.  Your lives aren’t worth as much to us as the success and secrecy of this mission, and it certainly isn’t worth as much as the Eclipse Star.  Now, referring to your breaching points once more…


(Flash back to Chris.  He’s now walking through the halls at Trillium City High School on his way to his locker.  On the way there he continually thinks to himself).


Chris:  There has got to be some way to get her to like me back.  I mean, I’ve known her since we were kids, since we were like 8 years old, there’s no way she couldn’t have feelings back…right?  (Passes by many others rushing around, some saying hello, some laughing and pointing, most ignoring him, which is mainly what he prefers).  Maybe if I just told her how I felt everything would just work out okay.  (Rolls his eyes).  Jeez, does that ever work for anyone?


(Gets to his locker and starts to turn the dial on his combination, although someone does notice him and decides to make it known.  The boy is slightly taller than Chris although slimmer and in noticeably better shape.  He has short brown hair with faint gold highlights).


Derek:  (Slams Chris into his locker face-first, pulling him to his feet as he starts to slump down).  Now now, bad posture is a sure sign of depression, my friend.


Chris:  (Coughing a bit as he gets to his feet).  Good morning to you too, Derek.  Still a dick I see.


Derek:  That’s why ya love me.


Chris:  I wouldn’t put up with you if I didn’t.


Derek:  (Smug smile).  Heh, who puts up with whom here?  I do you a great favor by socializing with you like this.  Consider it an honor. (Chills out on his act a bit).  Seriously though, what’s on your mind today?  Actually feel like asking her out?


Chris:  Asking who?


Derek:  (Taps Chris’ cheek).  Come now, you’re too simpleminded to think of anything else but Lindsey.  Every time you hang around me you always bring her up and every time that you’re depressed you talk about that damned “ray of sunlight that brightens your days”.


Chris:  (Annoyed).  Hey, I seriously mean that.


Derek:  And it’s that serious attitude that probably scares her away.  Just do yourself a favor; get the final crippling blow out of the way and get rejected like a man.


Chris:  She could say yes.


Derek:  If you believed for even asecond that you stood a chance, you’d have already asked her.  (Raises an eyebrow).  She is quite eligible.  If you don’t get rejected now then she’ll probably start dating some other guy and you’ll have to wait for the relationship to end before you can get your much-needed rejection-slash-closure.


Chris:  (Annoyed at hearing this speech yet again).  Piss off Derek; I’m in no mood for this today.


Derek:  Fine, we’ll discuss it more during the ride for the field trip.


Chris:  How about we just drop it and I’ll pretend like I don’t care about her anymore. (Puffs out his chest and gets very pompous).  See, she is completely out of my thoughts.


Lindsey:  (Calls from down the hall as she comes running towards Chris and Derek).  Hey Chris!


Chris:  (Instantly loses his composure).  Well dammit.


Lindsey:  Hiya fellas.  (Lindsey is an attractive young girl.  She acts sweet and is always in a bright, positive mood.  She has long blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail).  How are you two on this bright and sunny morning?


Derek:  Well, if you had bothered to look outside this morning you’d have realized that it is cloudy and gray and about to rain, although since you showed up it’s gotten much brighter, right Chris?


Chris:  Um…yes?  (Unsure of whether that came off as funny or creepy).


Lindsey:  Aw, aren’t you two just a couple of sweethearts.  It’s too bad that you’ve already claimed each other; guess there’s no room for moi.


Chris:  Me and Derek? I’d sooner be with Austin.


Lindsey:  I’m sure you would.


Chris:  Seriously though…I’m…I’m not gay, not that there’s anything wrong with it of course.  And don’t forget, I am still single.


Lindsey:  Yes, you like to remind me quite a lot.  We really should do something about that.  There are plenty of girls out there who’d love to meet a guy like you.  I’d know since I’m in that group, too.


Derek:  Oh but Lindsey, where on Earth would you find a guy like Chris here?  (Sarcastically grabs Chris and exaggerates his speech).  It’s not like guys like this are everywhere.  I mean honestly, where is another guy like Chris, another guy that is exactly like Chris?


Lindsey:  (Shrugs).  Don’t know but I guess I’ll keep my eyes open.


Chris:  Yeah, I’ll…I’ll keep an eye open for you, too.


Derek:  (Exaggerates his speech even more). Hey, I just had a funny idea.  Why don’t you two go out, you know, on a date?


Chris:  (Stumbles over words so that nothing he says can be considered real words, just nervous mumbling).


Lindsey:  Gee Derek, it just sounds like you’re jealous of Chris for being so much smarter and funnier and stronger and better looking than you.  (Hugs Chris sarcastically while saying this).


Derek:  Oh please, if that were true then Chris would actually be better than me instead of always being not better than me.  Besides, I’ve got the most important quality of all that places me ahead of him.


Lindsey:  What, more money?


Derek:  I was going to say a larger penis, but I’ll take your answer; much cleaner.


Chris:  (Finally remembering to contribute to the conversation).  So, um, Lindsey, how are you spelling your name this week?


Lindsey:  Hmm, a good question Chris.  I don’t know, I can never make up my mind about it.  That’s why it keeps changing.  I could spell it with a “y” at the end or with an “ie” or with an “ee” or with an “ey” or just an “i” or just an “e,” although maybe I could add an extra “n” or substitute the “i” in the middle with another “y.”  So many choices.  How do you think I should spell it, Chris?


Chris:  I…I like it however you spell it honestly.  It’s a cute name either way.


Lindsey:  You’re too sweet.


Derek:  You know, he shouldn’t have to answer your pointless question since you never answered his question.


Lindsey:  Which question was that?


Derek:  About whether you’d go out with him or not.


Chris:  I never actually asked her that.


Derek:  Well, do you want to?


Chris:  (Noticeably flustered yet annoyed).  Do I?  Another good question, Derek.


-The morning bell rings and everyone rushes off to get to their first class of the day.


Lindsey:  Well, I’d better get moving.  I can’t be late anymore; this’d be the third time in two weeks.  See ya guys.  Later Chris.  (Waves and takes off down the hall).


Chris:  Hey, I’ll see you on the bus for the field trip!


Lindsey:  Sure, save me a seat!  (Gone).


Chris:  (Sighs). You’re a bastard; you know that right?


Derek:  (Pleased with himself).  Oh please, you deserved that and you know it.  Now if you’ll excuse me I must be getting to my first class of the day.  It’s hard being the popular guy but if I don’t set an example for you peasants, how will you ever learn?  (Walks off).


Chris:  You know sometimes I hate that guy.


(Chris starts walking towards his first class very slowly.  On his way two guys meet up with him, one is about his height with shaggy brownish-red hair and a large smile on his face, the other is quite tall and has short black hair that’s been neatly styled, a small goatee adorns his chin).


Willy:  Hello Mr. Christopher.  I see that you too are running late today.


Chris:  Hello Willy, (to the tall dark-haired person), hello Danny, (to the carefree shaggy person).


Danny:  Hey Chris.  What’s up?


Chris:  Nothing but the same.  I almost asked Lindsey out though; that’s important I guess.


Willy:  And, what did she say?


Chris:  Notice that I carefully used the word “almost” in that sentence.


Danny:  (Not catching the sarcasm).  So, what did she say?


Chris:  She said that she wants to marry me and I whisked her off her feet and we’re on our honeymoon right now.


Danny:  (Looks at Chris puzzled).  She moves that fast in a relationship?


Chris:  Yes Danny, she moves that fast.


Danny:  Wow, I really need to find a girl like Lindsey.


-Chris and Willy both laugh.


Willy:  I’m sure that you’ll ask her soon.  Women aren’t really that difficult to talk to, you just have to, you know, actually talk to them once in a while.  You know I’ve offered to set you up with some friends of mine.  They’re female and they like guys like you, so just give me the signal and I’ll alert them to your presence in the corner.


Chris:  Thanks, but I’d rather not talk about it this early in the morning.  And speaking of hopeless causes, did you guys finish the homework today by any chance?


Willy:  Nope.


Danny:  Gah!  There was homework last night?!  (Laughs).  Then I guess I didn’t get it done either.


Chris:  Luckily I planned ahead and took extra notes for the two of you.  It’s not a finished homework assignment but it should allow you to finish during the teacher’s opening lecture.  (Grabs a piece of paper out of his backpack and hands it to Danny).  I think it’s safe to assume that you’ll be needing this before Willy does.


Danny:  (Grabs the piece of paper and reads it over a few times).  I can’t read your handwriting Chris.  Willy, can you make it out?  (Hands the paper to Willy).


Willy:  Nope, but I think I can read it better than you can.  I’ll finish my homework from this and let you copy it from there.


Danny:  Awesome.  Sorry Chris, it’s the thought that counts though.


Chris:  No worries, there won’t be much thought for the next hour and a half anyways.  (The three of them walk into class).


(Back on the other side of town, Syrus and his group of soldiers are huddled together in the back of a freight truck.  Syrus is sitting by himself with his eyes closed in thought).


Grunt:  (Coming over and waking Syrus from his calm).  Commander, how long will it take to get there, um, sir?


Syrus:  (Eyes still closed).  It will take as long as it needs to and not a second longer.


Grunt:  How long is that?


Syrus:  How old are you?


Grunt:  Me?  Oh, I’m 23.  Why d’you ask?


Syrus:  I’m just curious.


Grunt:  And how old are you…if you don’t mind me asking?


Syrus:  I am old enough, (Opens his eyes), and I do mind.  Now go take a seat and be silent.  I don’t want to be the one that has to force you.


Grunt:  Oh, um, right sir.  (Salutes and walks back over to his seat).


Syrus:  23… Octavious, you miserable bastard, I’m telling you this isn’t going to be so simple…


(Back to Chris, who is now making his way to the buses for the fieldtrip to the museum.  Austin, Danny and Willy are with him).


Chris:  Darn it, where is she…?


Austin:  Relax Chris, she’ll be here.  The bus doesn’t leave for another minute and a half.


Danny:  What was it that we’re supposed to be learning from this anyway?


Austin:  We’re supposed to be learning about some ancient artifact so that we can do a report on it, but we’re really here so that Chris can learn to ask out a girl he likes.


Danny:  So, which part do I need to be taking notes on?


Chris:  This whole fieldtrip is a waste anyway.   Since when do we need to care about a shiny rock that archeologists know nothing about?


Willy:  Beats me, as long as we don’t have to spend an entire day in lectures I’m fine with it.  (A group of women walk by and wave at Willy, giggling).


Giggling Girls:  Hiiiiiii Willy!


Willy:  (Smiling and waving back, totally disconnected).  Hiiiii ladies.  (They giggle harder and run off).


Chris:  (Looks anxiously at the door, waiting for Lindsey).  Is that her?!  Nope.  How about…?!  No…


Lindsey:  (Sneaks up behind him).  Chris!


Chris:  (Nearly jumps onto Austin’s shoulders).  Bwaha!!  Oh, Lindsey, I didn’t expect to see you here.  What an odd coincidence.


Lindsey:  Oh yeah right, you’re a terrible liar.  I hate to ask, but do you mind if I sit with a friend of mine instead?  She’s feeling a bit under the weather today and I’d like to be able to help her if she needs someone.


Chris:  Oh, yeah, that’s…that’s fine.  Go, help, I’ve got these…(Turns around to find that the others have already hopped on the bus).  Guys?


Lindsey:  Thanks Chris, I knew you’d understand.  (Hugs him).  Next fieldtrip, I promise.  (Jumps on the bus and out of sight).


Derek:  Don’t you worry Chris, I’m still here.  (Hugs him mockingly).


Chris:  Oh boy, I can hardly wait…


-They board the bus and it starts to speed away.  For a while, the two don’t speak to each other.


Derek:  I see that you’re starting to feel that rejection just like you should be.


Chris:  Now is not the time, thank you.


Derek:  Fine then, what else do you want to talk about?


Chris:  I really have nothing on my mind that I wish to discuss.


Derek:  You be that way.  (Pulls headphones out of his jacket and puts them on).


Chris:  (Quietly to himself).  And you’re not hung better than me…


Derek:  You know I haven’t even turned these on yet, right?


Chris:  I had a hunch.


Derek:  If I wanted to be a real bastard I’d go out of my way to ruin your chances instead of just giving you the mindset of failure.  Do you want to push me?


Chris:  Don’t do it Derek…


Derek:  No, you pushed me and now you must learn that actions never go unpunished.  (Takes his headphones off and stands up).  Excuse me everyone; I have an announcement to make regarding my friend Chris here.


Chris:  Don’t do it…


Derek:  Seems that Chris has a little attraction to a certain someone.


Bus driver:  Sit down or else I’m pulling the bus over.


Chris:  Just sit down…


Derek:  (To Chris).  Are you going to be nice then?


Chris:  (Panicked).  Yes, yes, now sit down.


Derek:  Okay then, I’m glad we got that settled.  (Sits down).


Student:  Derek, who is it?


Derek:  Oh, it’s Li- (Chris punches Derek hard in the jaw, sending him into the aisle).


Bus Driver:  What’s going on back there?!


Derek:  (Calmly stands up while holding his jaw).  Oh that was uncalled for.  (Punches Chris in the nose.  The two then begin to wrestle around until the teacher breaks them up).


Teacher:  That’s enough from you two.  You had both better do a damn good report from this fieldtrip because my patience is very, very thin.  The yearly budget is getting sucked dry from a single day at the museum, so humor me and pretend that it’s worth it, alright?  (Sits back down).


Derek:  And I expected detention or something.


Chris:  Heh, yeah.  Sorry about punching you and all…


Derek:  Nah, don’t apologize for that, it was a good hit.  I’m probably bleeding a bit from it, too.


Chris:  Hmh.  (The two smile and laugh a bit as the bus pulls into the parking lot.  Meanwhile, an unmarked truck pulls into the parking lot on the other side of the building).


Teacher/Syrus:  Okay, we’ll be entering the building from here.  Stay with the person seated next to you at all times.  While we’re in there I expect no talking and no incidents, understand?


Groups:  (In unison) Yes.


Teacher/Syrus:  Good, now let’s get this over with.


Chris:  Here we go…


To Be Continued…



  1. The King of Zing said,

    I just started re-reading these and though it has been a while since I read chapter one I feel that it has changed in some way…. For the better of course! I really like the end scene with the unison of both of the groups, because the dialogue and the feeling go well for either group and I thought it was pretty genius of you to think that up…. yay! I also think that the dialogue overall worked very well and that the relationships definitely had something to them…. Jeez, that Derek guy is a jerk! lol. So yeah, definitely a good introductory chapter… If you ever make this into a graphic novel or series of comics you will need to have this supplemented by a more action packed chapter like I believe chapter 2 is but I cannot remember. Anyways, so yeah I am re-reading these and I will be commenting off and on. Good job!

  2. The King of Zing said,

    p.s. it’s not 5:23 am… it’s 9:24 pm…lol.

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